I am just going to come out and say it. I am breaking up with you. Yes, the rumors are true. I met someone else and his name is Istanbul. You’ve meant so much to me and I’ve grown leaps and bounds because of you. But let’s be honest. My need for open communication has always made you bristle. I know you have been listening; but have you really heard me?
I’ve been enchanted with Istanbul for quite a while. He is dark, mysterious, and makes the best coffee. Don’t get me started on his cooking skills… delicious.
So China, thank you for everything, but I think it is best that we move both on. Feel free to pick your nose, spit away, and even cut in line. I won’t get in your way anymore. I would say I’ll see you on Facebook, but we both know that’s not going to happen. Adieu China. It’s been quite a ride.