China has really bad plumbing.  Even the Chinese will tell you.  It’s why the bathrooms stink – bad pipes. I am going to warn you now, that the rest of this blog is probably not suitable for work or small children. Not kidding.

Lately, I have been working out.  I am really focused on a summer at the beach and let’s be honest, the real Turkish Delight in August.  Additionally, I have been eating healthy with lots of oatmeal, fruit, and some veggies (a work in progress).

In China, many Westerners have Ayes which is essentially a maid in any other language.  Interestingly enough, I have heard that Ayes get paid better than Chinese school teachers.  I digress.  My Aye is Zhou and she has been a real blessing for me on many levels, but none more than this week.

Like I said, I have been working out, eating better, drinking less mochas… you get the idea.  As a result, let’s just say I need to use the facilities more often and for longer periods of time… I don’t know how to say that any more delicately.  Many times during these moments when I am catching up on some light reading, I don’t flush immediately afterwards because I need to let things sit for a while, soften if you will, so the pipes don’t get backed up.  This system has been working for me until this passed weekend.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, but my routine failed me this week.  Clog Central.  Here’s the thing.  I don’t speak enough Chinese to call a plumber, my landlord wasn’t answering her phone, and it was time to catch up on my reading.   Yikes.

What to do… I was really stuck but it wouldn’t wait.  My reading was pretty urgent. I had just returned from walking the Nan Shan stairs and things were happening.  After a short time and some pride swallowing, I decided to read somewhere else… the trash can. I was pretty desperate. Let me tell you, not only is it humbling to be a grown woman reading on the trash can, it’s really uncomfortable and difficult to get the leverage that is sometimes needed when one is reading.  It’s just not relaxing.  In addition, when I was done with my reading, I had to take the uh, article, to the trash.  Not a pleasant elevator ride. 

Well needless to say, I plunged until I simply could not plunge anymore that morning, but I simply could not clear those pipes.  However, more urgent reading was necessary and I made the bold decision to use the clogged facilities and pay whatever it cost to get it sorted later. It was a loooong, self-esteem killing Sunday.

The next morning, I left a very embarrassing note for Zhou about my um, articles. I told her to leave the bathroom alone and I was calling in an expert.  I returned home that day with a heavy heart, having done my reading at school… only to find that by some miracle, Zhou sorted out the pipes!!!

Oh happy day. She is my hero.  She is the Toilet Whisperer.

 And that my friends, is a real China story.

Not that I am counting. I mean; it’s not like I am looking up maps of Turkey, or calling packing companies, or making plans for the summer… Vegas anyone?  Well, I would look at the maps more if the PRC didn’t block just about everything here. Plus, I will have to post this blog at school since my VPN doesn’t work anymore…  No, I am not counting at all.

I must tell you a story about why Jen is my BFF Asia.  I know I have written a lot about that particular friendship lately, but if you saw us together, you would know why… we just have fun.  So the other day we are on the subway, heading to Lowu to buy material to have some clothes made. Well there are times in China, if you are a Westerner, that you sometimes get laughed at. Some people will look at you, discuss, look back at you, and then proceed to laugh. It’s something one just gets used to.  Well these three people on the subway were actually pretty obnoxious and obvious about it. So blonde haired, blue eyed Jen just looks at them and say in Mandarin, “Is there a problem?”  Boy, did that shut them up quickly.  It was awesome. 

Also, I am all about Instagram right now.  It’s basically photo tweets and I’ve probably mentioned it before. For me, this app represents the best of technology as it brings together a community; it’s a great way to connect with others of similar interests and also, be inspired and motivated.  It ups my game, which I love.  If you have an iPhone, check out Instagram.

I’ve been trying to think of how to write this blog because last weekend was the moment that I realized I live internationally.  It sounds silly as I have been gone for almost two years, but it’s true. To make a long weekend a short blog, I rocked Hong Kong and Tokyo in the same weekend. I mean… the good, the bad, and the ugly. Like Vegas, that’s really all I can say.

Last weekend also included a tech conference and needless to say, Jen and I were exhausted so we paid extra for the good seats on the return flight which turns out, wasn’t such a good idea in some ways.

In China, Laotongs are considered soul sisters. This was initially and traditionally an arranged relationship for life, much like a marriage, where the two women involved shared a secret language.  I think of Jen and I with our acronyms like gf, bff, ob… our ‘dudes’ that sell us trinkets, to our inside jokes, and then I start to appreciate the idea of this close bond.

If you haven’t been to Japan, you really need to go. The crisp, clean air filed with white, puffy clouds, the heated toilets seats with so many buttons it can be overwhelming, the polite people who smile and go out their way to help… it’s just lovely.

With cleared out lungs and heavy eyelids, Jen and I headed back to a workday in China. At first we were very excited about our upgraded seats until we started getting jostled around as people pushed their way through our aisle. Then, the woman next to us opened up a bag of dried chicken feet and some flavored oysters.  Imagine paying extra to sit next to someone eating a rotten tuna fish/egg salad sandwich. Yep. Welcome to flight 679.

We ended up watching a movie together ‘Snow Flower and the Secret Fan’ (I paused so Jen could catch up) and that’s what got me thinking about friendships. Being abroad has been more challenging in some aspects than I could have ever imagined. It sneaks up on me, this isolated feeling. I try to focus on all the great opportunities, but it can get the better of me at times. I guess that’s just the good, bad, and the ugly of it all.

As the plane wavered left to right and up and down before landing, Jen looked over at me and said, “Well Snow Flower, if we don’t make it, I am glad we are such good friends.” We both laughed because we were legitimately nervous – it was a rough landing but I felt the same way about our friendship. Happy.

It wasn’t until we got safely into the airport when I asked her, “Why do I have to be Snow Flower… the crazy one?” Jen and I both laughed, but it stuck.  Just one more inside joke to add to our own secret language.