Okay, after living in China for a few weeks, there are some things that are just so China to me. So in my head, I started saying, ‘That’s so China.’  But here’s the thing, it’s kinda like ‘forgetaboutit’ because it has different meanings depending on the context and delivery.  I will try to demonstrate.

When you almost get into an accident in a taxi but make it: That’s so China. Translation: I am happy to be alive and my friends and I will laugh about this later.

When you almost get into an accident in a taxi but make it: That’s so China. Translation: I am happy to be alive. Period.

When you get food delivered to your door on a rainy day and the guy isn’t expecting a tip: That’s so China.  Translation: Awesome.

When some random person cuts you in line: That’s so China. Translation: Aggravated.

When you have absolutely no personal space: That’s so China. Translation: Joke around with friends later, but keep an eye on your wallet.

When you see men walking around with their shirts up without the washboard abs: That’s so China. Translation: Mortified and realizing it is NEVER that hot or humid out.

When you wake up with 18 more bugs bites than the day before: That’s so China. Translation: Annoyed.

When you go to a restaurant and eat pigeon: That’s so China. Translation: Adventurous.

When you get your hair washed, conditioned, blown dry, with a massage: That’s so China.Translation: Pure bliss.

At a party tonight, ‘That’s so China’ became an acronym – TSC.  I am officially in China now baby!

Tonight I had my first ‘China’ meal.  Pigeon.  When I first looked at it, I thought it might be quail or a small chicken.  Nope, pigeon.

When eating with others, I want to be a good sport and try new things, but anyone that knows me, knows that my stomach is in charge.  I mean that quite literally.  If I could liken it to any character, it would have to be Oscar the Grouch.  It’s always grumpy and moody and the first to tell you when something is wrong.  You get the idea.

I have learned to be very careful when eating out, particularly in foreign establishments – to the point of not eating much just to keep Oscar the Grouch quiet.   However, like my dad said, I might just have a Chinese stomach so I looked at that small bird, cooked with it’s little wings still intact, and I just tore right into it.  And yep, you guessed it.  It tasted a lot like chicken.  It wasn’t half bad and I started feeling pretty good about myself.  Here I am in China, eating at a Cantonese restaurant, and trying new things.  Feeling good.  And then I looked closer at the plate.

Staring directly at me was the head of the pigeon – right there on the plate.  My friend then bumped the plate as she was reaching for some tea, the head tipped over, and I saw the brain stem (I think) and suddenly, I was one with my stomach.  When she reached over and actually ate the head of the pigeon (she is Chinese) I put my piece of pigeon down and went back to my safe rice.  She offered me some chicken feet, but I politely declined.  Wouldn’t wanna get Oscar going.

Below are some photos of Shekou – enjoy!

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My partner in crime, Tammy, and I went to Walmart Saturday afternoon.  We virtually ignored the warnings to steer clear of this establishment on the weekends, but we were feeling pretty refreshed.  You see we had spent the afternoon getting pampered.  We had mani/pedis and our hair done – all for about $25 US.  We were feeling very relaxed and had time to stop by Starbucks for a small treat.  We were generally enjoying the day.  Until Walmart.

The store was very crowded and noisy.  However, it wasn’t the amount of people that made this particular trip overwhelming.  It was the hard sell. Let me explain.

We get into Walmart delivered quite uneventfully by a Shekou taxi.  There are gobs of people. We stumble along trying to find the electronics department, but happen onto bedding – we are both looking for new sheets.  This is where it begins.

As we were browsing the styles and trying to find fitted sheets (never found them) and this saleswoman begins talking to us, loudly, in Chinese trying to sell us a particular brand of sheets.  Both Tammy and I kind of look at each other – we just tell her no, thank you.  So she just starts following us, pointing out all of the bedding things she thinks we need.  She even goes as far as to put items directly in our carts.  I am not joking.  This extremely pushy approach is not endearing her to either Tammy or me.  I mean we are just trying to find some labels in English.  So, we after we escape the dreaded bedding department, we head over to the small electronics where six sales people try to sell us an iron and a water warmer.  Six.  It’s the same brash approach.

At this point, I need to make one clarification.  Everyone told me that people here speak English. They don’t.  They speak in phrases like, “It’s my pleasure.” or “You like?” – makes it interesting when you are trying to purchase a rice steamer.  Still haven’t found one.

I am getting the idea that this aggressive sales tactic is probably a standard in Shenzhen.  It’s very loud, pushy, and unrelenting.  The trick I am quickly learning is just to be very firm with the ‘no’.  Once you are firm with that, they do kind of leave you alone.

After we purchase the electronic items at the electronics cashier, we go downstairs where we need to purchase our other items, we get into our third line for the Frappia.  A Frappia is not a new coffee drink.  It is basically an official Chinese receipt that some ex-pats living in China need to justify a Foreign Allowance.  I don’t really understand it –I just know I need one.

So, as we are patiently waiting for our turn with a nice couple behind us, this really pushy older Chinese woman gets right behind us.  There is plenty of space, but she is literally elbow–to-elbow with me.  Just as I finish getting my official receipt, she jams hers onto the table – well, Tammy is next in line, so I literally push her arm away and say, “Excuse me, she’s next.”  It’s like that.  Tammy and I looked at each other and we were like, almost laughing because we were both so over the Walmart on a Saturday. So after we get our Frappias, we go grab something to eat. This other woman proceeds to just stare at us for our entire meal.  Gawk.  It was surreal.  We get into our taxi and just start laughing at really dumb stuff.  The taxi driver must have thought we were insane (tables turned!) because we were just that silly and exhausted from that trip.  Next time, we are going on a Tuesday.

Last night was the first time that I woke up and truly did not know where I was.  I was having great dreams too but it was a tad freaky to have no idea what I was looking at.  I finally got oriented and feel quickly back to sleep.

I don’t have too much to report as I have been working like mad.  It’s pretty much been 10 to 11 hour days just trying to get acquainted with all of the new school materials and procedures.  However, my class is wonderful – I have 15 students.  Fifteen. In some ways, it’s as if I am new to teaching – this is a whole new world.  Did I mention that there are two teaching assistants for grade 5 as well as ELD help that comes into the classroom, a technology person who also visits the classroom weekly with lessons, prep time, and the fact that you can have pretty much anything delivered here, including coffee?   Yeah, I am working like a dog but hey, at least I have someone to help me with copies and laminating so I am not complaining!  Below are a couple of photos of my new school.

Another interesting fact about China that they don’t advertise in the brochures is that China kind of stinks.  I mean that literally.  At times, enough to knock you off your center.  Since I have moved here, I have been introduced to a plethora of new smells that I didn’t know existed on this planet.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  It’s not like this all of the time, but walk down the street and your sinuses will probably be cleared by the time you purchase your DVDs (I already have a favorite guy I go to).  Also, the plumbing here is notoriously bad.  The pipes in most of the kitchens and bathrooms are straight up and down – the buildings don’t have that S curved pipe – so there is this weird odor that pretty much takes over your apartment if you don’t cover it up.  Apparently it’s worse during this time of the year because of the heat, so please say a vanilla or rose flavored prayer that this is true.  Also, there are many people cooking things in alleys and along walkways.  That’s the real culprit right there. I have no idea what is going on with that and I can pretty safely say that this is an area I won’t be investigating any time soon.

But China in it’s own weird way, works. I say things like the smell is bad and that the taxi drivers are crazy (certifiable) but it’s all part of life here.  You walk out of your place and you are in it, like it or not.  China is right in your face.  Hey, I can always have a mocha delivered to my front door.  Not too bad.

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This morning was an organized school trip to a market that I simply cannot remember the name of – but it is where all of the fake stuff is!  It is a huge building located right on the border of the New Territories  (Hong Kong) and it houses five floors of shops including fabric, jewelry, purses, DVDs – you name it, you can probably buy it or have it made there.

It’s a tad overwhelming in that it is teaming with people and every inch of space is crammed with shops.  As you walk through, the sales people call out for you to come into their shops. “Missy, you want purse?” or “Missy, DVD, you want?”  And they reach out and poke at you to get your attention.  Bargaining is a must and it’s important to never take the first price offered, so be ready to walk away. Luckily one of the people we were with was an excellent haggler.  I ended up buying a pair of Dior sunglasses for about $15 US.  Fake or real?  Who knows?  I just know that I look dang good in them. Also, if you show even the slightest interest in one of the items, the sales people essentially ambush you to buy it, shouting out prices, and enticing you with other goods.  I learned quickly not to point. After a while, I likened myself to a shark, navigating the aisles of the fake Pradas, Diors, sparkling tee shirts, and questionable iPhones hunting the for the best bargain.

Afterwards, we went to what I would liken to a wholesale pottery store.  It is literally in the back of the fishing market and upon first sight; I thought my friend was kidding.  It looked like the kind of place your mother warned you about.  You know, the back of an alley, no clear signs… a tad creepy but she insisted and I am glad I followed her.  It’s literally warehouse rooms just stacked with dishes – there is nothing fancy about it. I am attaching some photos so you can get an idea of what I am talking about.  I ended up buying some very stylish dishes for about $12 US – photo below.  I plan on going back soon!

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Okay, this afternoon was the new teacher medical exam.  I am just going to say that it was strange, a tad uncomfortable, and well, very China.  One thing I am learning about China is there is a lot of hurry up and wait. It’s almost like there is a flair for the dramatic here that I wasn’t expecting.  But I digress-back to the ‘exam’.

Please keep in mind that before getting my Visa to work here, I had to get a several tests and a physical exam; it’s standard for a foreigner that wants to live and work in China.  So I was a bit surprised when I had to go through it again, but it’s required so on the bus we go.

We get to the hospital, and it’s essentially a bunch of side rooms with people waiting in line to get in.  Our group was rushed into a room, where we were painstakingly processed, one by one, so that we were officially enrolled into the Chinese medical system.  Once there, we then enter a tiny room with three ‘doctors’ that take our blood pressure -104/74 baby – check our eyesight – left eye not as good as the right one, get on a scale with large numbers that yells, yes yells out your weight in Chinese.  Guess I can’t tell you mine since you don’t speak Chinese…  Then there is blood drawn and we all checked to make sure these were of course, all okay and it was.

We then head to another room and while we were waiting in line, an orderly of sorts drags a yellow bag down the hall that is leaking some sort of yellowish liquid.  Now, in my mind I would like to think that it’s nothing serious.  Like, maybe the nurses just had a birthday celebration with lemonade and cake!  Much better than thinking of it as an unidentified liquid leaking from a hospital bag… As a side note, the orderly was in no hurry to clean that up.  We just stepped over it.

In the next room, there was an EKG and a sonogram.  Several ‘nurses’ walked in and out while I was getting mine.  Privacy is really not an option but then I thought that maybe they were avoiding the ‘lemonade’ in the hallway too.

After that, it was time for a chest ex-ray from a kid looked like he should be on The Real World and whose lab coat was buttoned up incorrectly. Interestingly enough, those sorts of details don’t inspire a lot of confidence.  Then we had to hurry up and wait.  And wait until the last thing we have to do which is a urine test.

I am not sure if you have ever had to do one of these in the States, but if you have, you’ll know that the US nurse, wearing gloves, will give you a sterile cup wrapped in a plastic container that is then passed though a cupboard in the wall after you are done to make sure everything stays clean and sanitary.  Now imagine a plastic cup that looks like a it should be used in the a playroom – one that is not wrapped in plastic – one that is in no way sterile because it has been handled by so many people before it got to you.  Throw in a squat toilet with no toilet paper or soap. Afterwards, imagine carrying your cup out in front of everyone to be placed onto a cookie sheet by you, along with everyone else’s samples with no nurse in sight, just out there in the open hallway.  Did I mention that it’s about 94 degrees outside with 99% humidity?

Ah, now I am in the system and have apparently gone through this ritual of sorts that every teacher here must go through.  Several of us went out for dinner afterwards.  We needed a treat after that.  And yes, we washed our hands.

Today the school organized a trip to an old part of Shenzhen and I finally brought my big girl camera.  For clarification purposes, I live and work in Shekou, which is a suburb of Shenzhen.  Anyways, we went to visit one of the many fabric stores, which is bursting with all types of materials. The great part is, you can purchase the fabric and have ANYTHING made for cheap.  Some other teachers purchased some soft cotton for sheets for about $12 US and it will probably cost about $5 to $10US to make. A couple of us are already planning a trip back!

So after that, we went to the kitchen store to buy stuff for… wait for it… our kitchens and the store is packed with pretty much anything someone might need.  When we went inside, I noticed through the window that behind the store; was a type of slum. Some people seemed to be living on the roofs, cooking, doing laundry.  For the record, pretty much everyone hang dries their laundry, even yours truly.  But this area was in stark contrast to what I have been living in and around.  It was a bit of an eye opener and I didn’t complain about the heat (or anything) for the rest of the day. However, I have some other photos that were also just taken around Shenzhen. The photo of the guy sitting with no shirt, he asked me to take his picture.   I showed him the image and I swear; I bet he is still smiling about that tonight.

The other thing that I have noticed is that a smile here will get you far.  I usually smile first, but the one I get back is true and genuine.

As a side note, everyone kept telling me to go to this salon and get a hair wash and a blow dry.  Well, my friend Tammy and I went today and it was fantastic.  You lay down and they wash your hair for like 30 minutes (including a scalp massage) and then it’s a mini-massage on the back and arms.  Then, there is a blow dry.  And get this; it only cost $5 US.  I am planning on going back next Sunday!

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Cars are still relatively new in China and it’s pretty evident by the driving here.  At some points, it’s pretty intense as bikes share the road with cars and the drivers only obey the red lights – I am not kidding.  People here seem to drive like they are riding a bike: if something is in your way, you just swerve to avoid it-don’t worry about the car in the next lane.  It seems as if these drivers here really don’t believe in lanes. Now that I think about it, I kinda don’t know why they even bothered to paint the lines in the first place.   Also, I have also witnessed some drivers just stopping and reversing on an off-ramp or just stopping altogether; there are no shoulders.  One taxi driver headed the wrong way down the road to pick up a fare.  And forget about merging – drivers simply don’t let you in – it’s almost like a big, long game of chicken.  Interestingly enough though, it all seems to work out in some kind of organized chaos.  I wouldn’t want to drive here, but the drivers here seem to know what they are doing so I just cross my fingers and walk when I can!  I am attaching some photos of my drive home today.  Enjoy!

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Several teachers packed into the school van and we went on a quick shopping trip today.  For lunch, we went to a place called Noodle King – it’s a chain restaurant here.  They serve great food, especially their hand-pulled noodles – delicious.  My dad thinks I might have been born with a Chinese stomach because I am enjoying the food and quite frankly, I didn’t know how that would work when I got here.

One thing that I have noticed is that I am definitely a novelty. People stare at me.  I would like to think it’s my good looks and killer charm, but I think it’s just because I am a foreigner.  Some kids at the Noodle King took my photo – they almost wouldn’t leave me alone – it was quite funny.

I am also attaching some photos from grocery store.  It’s similar to a Wal-Mart in that it’s a one-stop shop, but it was fun to see the American items in Chinese.  Enjoy!

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I am signing papers on my new apartment this morning – very exciting!  I will post pics as soon as I get in there.  Finding a place was interesting.  Thank goodness a fellow teacher, Tracy, was there to help me.  She is truly an angel.

I am going to break it down for you – imagine being in an unfamiliar city with a language that is tough to understand even when the locals are speaking English, 100 degree heat and 100 degree humidity, many balmy elevator rides, unfamiliarity of the system of leasing an apartment, different money (or as I like to call it, ‘Monopoly’ money), steaming taxi rides, dripping sweat, moldy apartments, trying to make the right decision for living arrangements for the next year in a new country after having just landed 3 days ago, and dealing with jet lag.  As I told my mom, this experience is not for the faint of heart!

It is a blessing that Tracy and I have the same sense of humor because it could have been a lot worse without the laughter or her input.  At times, we would both just look at each other and laugh because it just became silly.

As I get to know the city itself, it seems to be a mix of foreigners and Chinese.  For instance, I was at the Starbucks (yes, they even have them here) waiting for my friend from New Zealand, and right next to me was a guy speaking French, at a table close by, people were speaking English, and the baristas were speaking Chinese.  That was just me getting a coffee to go.

It’s like there are these wonderful little surprises around each corner for me to discover.

Have a great day and more photos to come later!  Cheers.